I am freaking out....no..for real im am completely FREAKING the hell out...So we got our christmas tree last night and i decorated it with my mom... and it made me think that i am leaving next week...and i do not know if I can do this...I really don't know if I can handle this leaving for 6 months thing...I don't know if I can handle being away from my friends & family and my Canada for 6 months...I mean how bad is snow?? without it we would just be living in a 24 hour summer world..and no one wants that....I DON'T...What am i gonna do on christmas?? new years eve?? im gonna spend it over there...no snow no x-mas festivites Canada style...
Am i being a baby?? After all, im a grown woman.. I should be able to handle this kind of situation , i accepted the job in the first place...and then im thinking.. was punta cana the right choice?? should have I taken that contract in Mexico...would it have been better? more money?? more tourists?? more experience...?? But afterall, its not like no one has ever done this before, millions of people would dream to have a job like mine, and are applying daily, just to get a 6 months vacay and pay...so i shouldn't complain.. i got a job that many would kill for...oh my god.. i do not know what the heck is going on, but i am really freaking out...I got my plane ticket 3 days ago...and that's when i actually hit me, that i will be leaving. I was excited in the beggining i don't know whats happening nowThe last thing i wanna do is leave worried & unprepared..I am in this weird.. nostalgic mood right now...where I feel like im trapped...never felt it before but..next week is too soon...WAY too soon, Maybe if i left in Mid january, i would have felt better...The funny thing is, I am seeing myself freak out, i am seeing myself trying to jepordise everything on purpose, how ridiculous am i?? Maybe i was'nt ready for this afterall..But if I stay here..What am i going to do..continuing working my 9-5 in Mtl, wich is gonna lead me to nothing....Jesus i hope this is the good ol' "cold feet" symptom...Sighs...
